COLD IS A RELATIVE THING!
65 above zero:
Floridians tun on the heat.
People in Iowa plant gardens.
60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Iowa sunbathe.
50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start
People in Iowa drive with the windows down.
40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Iowa throw on a flannel shirt.
35 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Iowa have the last cookout before it gets cold.
20 above zero:
People in Miami all die.
Iowans close their windows during the day time hours.
Zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico
People in Iowa get out their winter coats.
10 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Iowa are selling cookies door to door.
20 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air. (really???)
People in Iowa let the dog sleep indoors.
30 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Iowans go out and start the snow mobile.
40 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Iowa start ASKING...'Cold enough for you?'
50 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Iowa public schools will open 2 hours late.
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